A Circle of Gold Is An Engineering
Barry Aitchison
“What the devil is it?” asked Carrie. “It looks disgusting.”
The shrivelled piece of flesh lay flaccid in the display case, as if
ashamed
to be seen in public. It was a phenomenon long known by sociologists.
Scot’s lips twisted. “Can’t say for sure but I think it’s one of them
Injun
ears.”
“As I said, disgusting. What’s it doing on show like this?”
Scot adjusted his reading spectacles. “It says that it belonged to an old
Injun who used to repair stuff.”
“What sort of stuff?”
He sniffed, then wiped his nose on a sleeve. “Can we move on to the
vintage
cars, honey? It’s just an Injun ear.”
“No, I want to know about this. You and vintage cars bore my tits off.”
Scot inserted a finger into a nostril, turned it 90 degrees, withdrew it,
examining the point before wiping it on his ****rt. “What else do you want
to know, honey?”
“Like I said, what sort of stuff did this Injun fix?”
“Shrivelled up women like you,” said Scot, very quietly.
“What? What did you say?”
“I said he fixed just about anything. He was an Injun.”
“Huh! Why couldn’t you be like that? You’re as useful as the word
‘chastity’
in Paris Hilton’s dictionary.”
“Oh, honey, you know that ain’t true. I changed the batteries on that
kitchen mixer thingy of yours.”
“What kitchen mixer thingy?”
“I found it in your bedroom drawer. I think it works ultrasonically. No
stirrers you see. All it needed was new batteries. What was it doing in
your
drawer?”
“None of your goddamned business. I put it there to keep it clean, that’s
all.”
“Well, it ain’t much good. I made a shake with it and it’s a piece of
crap.”
“Will you get back to the Injun ear. I getting quite annoyed with you.”
“Yes, honey. It says he was with the Union troops when they attacked
Atlanta. It says he overheard General Sherman say he needed an Injun ear
so
he sliced his off with his knife and gave it to the general.”
“Oh, my God, what did the general say?”
“Fire!”
“What? Where? Ring the fire alarm.”
“No, honey, it’s what the general said.”
“He said ‘fire’? That’s a strange response to an Injun ear, ain’t it?”
“Apparently not, honey. It says they are a natural pair.”
“Why did he say ‘fire’ then?”
“It says he had in mind to cremate the Injun ear.”
“So, what happened when he said ‘fire’.”
“They blew the bejesus out of Atlanta, honey.”
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